It’s never really about the thing; is it? -lovemeka
What’s Clearly Bothering Me: A Monologue
Hurt, lonely, and confused. And all you can say is “they’re just jealous” or “that it just says something about them and not you”. Ok. Thank you for the advice, and next time I’ll give them some variation of “I’m rubber; you’re glue”, Ok?
You know what? It actually still hurts, because.. beecaaause. And you could’ve tried with your little advice. I am hurting here. My eyes are still dry because I can’t cry anymore; there are no more tears left for you…it. There are no more tears left for it. It’s
…just that I was born like this; its not something I did, but you have that- which I have desired with tears through fatigue…in fatigues, in the rain, through the horror, illness, and hurt in holding onto the thread hope that I might have a chance– to even pay all gained through it– wealth, health, all the talent I have, and every 60 seconds of my time– sometimes risking my very life to obtain what amounts to nothing of value to my being. After all, what is anything worth if I cannot be you… be with you… Well……not be..that’s silly….”have” that you “have”?
That… is all I have so desperately longed for to have “that” thing with “them” the way I just know it is– much easier and no significant issues compared to mine, I imagine. Just look at you. And here I am.. again disappointed as I expected ’em to be more considerate of those of us with lesser favor. And you are singing, dancing, and twirling the hills and flowery fields of the promised land of my dreams… your dreams.
Oh yes, I know the circumstance– ’cause it is similar to the plans of my own destiny endowed by Him, Himself. Yet, for a lowly me, you can’t conjure a more thoughtful, meaningful response?
I am intimately knowledgeable of the magnificence of your conditions…the condition.
But you can’t take a single break in your never-ending angelic chorus of life to help tend the thing that’s CLEARLY bothering me!
…and next time that’s what I’mma tell ’em
Ha!! I hope you enjoyed this monologue as much as I enjoyed writing it! Watch for the edits. Thank you so much for reading and supporting me through this time.