Soooo how does it feel to make my video debut sleep-deprived, un-styled and reciting the worst fiction I’ll ever write, performing the worst acting I’ll ever perform in the worst video I’ll ever produce to complete my challenge to “ACT OUT: Monologue”? It feels absolutely amazing!! 😀
Now THAT was a challenge Sure, I’ll laugh with and at myself for many years about the extent of my irrational anxiety about this and in the challenges before. But it helps to know that nobody really gives a damn– lol
Yet I was the one losing sleep! …and dreams, squandered youth and opportunities. And you may say, “well Meka, your blog’s not even a month old; you don’t know the ramifications yet.” Well you would be right because I don’t know. When I took no risks, I didn’t know either, and today I still don’t know. I know that there’s plenty of time to fail. In fact I will, just as I have failed at some things before, without question.
- What do I know for sure? …that I tried and did the best I could as I would want my own to do until they learned a better way. I will give that advice to them anyday and not blink because I lived it– no explanation needed. And if I fail, it’s because the obstacles would be real and not perceived, irrational, some self-imposed blockage accepted from someone else, or accepted as fact for lack of the gift that is the curiosity to question things, or the “courage to change the things I can”. They are mine alone– destined to be and will one day work for me as I continue my journey.
- Whyyyyy is it important? Because it proves that I can do anything, and even that it was not done very well is inconsequential at this point. (incoming caveat) As a professional writer, artist, and an aspiring fiction writer, I am not satisfied with the quality of this work. There’s clearly a lot of work to do, but ya have to start somewhere, and guess who I just beat in a race to the top? Every single aspiring fiction writer who never tried. This is beginning of the road for me. What’s next is where my post, Part 2: Challenge to Finish a Project comes into play. But let’s explore the sentence emboldened above: “I am not satisfied with the quality of this work.”
Pay attention the magic happens quickly… (hey it’s my party 🙂
- That my dear Loves, the ability to accurately label and effectively harness disappointment and dissatisfaction– to its proper and most beneficial place, is growth. I don’t mean “excuses” because those are empty, but when I am actively working on becoming better in that specific area, I am growing. You can see the steps I am and will take and progress is measurable. Then, you can see that the car is harnessing the fuel– not the other way around. I had been allowing the fuel to completely incinerate the car! You can’t travel in a burnt up car!
These are the BASICS– an important piece of the foundation on which I can build my dreams.
I value a short-cut and a heads-up like everyone else, but I can’t dream of shopping and promoting volumes of my own future work with the anxiety I carried about revealing myself or paralyzing fear and self-criticism that haunted me. Do I still become fearful? Yes, but instead of transporting me back to bed, I’ve learned to harness it as fuel to transport me to back to the satisfaction that comes with living and have a peaceful– not a fearful spirit.
“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” ― Jack Canfield
Talk to me. If you dug it and travelled with me, don’t forget to share, like, and comment below. Thank you so much for reading.
- Daily Prompted: 15 Hrs til “Act Out ….”Monologue (lovemekanism.org)
- Day 14: Jack Canfield – Live the Life that you Want (200daysofwonder.com)
- Wednesday Writer Resources: Holly Lisle’s Professional Plot Outline Mini-Course [Kindle Edition] (genrebookreviews.com)
- A Blogger’s Best Friend & Why Fiction Writers Should Pay Attention To Poetry. . . (nfaa.wordpress.com)