Apologies Part 2: When to Fold ’em and 5 Other Eff Words
Usually when no apology is needed, none is expected. But there are times when the offender’s offense lies only in the mind of the offended.
“Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar” -attributed to Sigmund Freud
1. Fear (or Perceived Threat) Jealousy? Hating? Hopelessness?
These cigars are all first cousins that must be identified. Spades a spade– whatever, we’re calling it!
2. Fold ’em!
Go on and throw that little hand in there, Honey. And if they insist on an apology, just pick an eff word– any one. No 🙂 actually I am nice and very loving, and have learned to answer unequivocally. But why?
“Jealousy… is a mental cancer” -B.C. Forbes
Asking the right questions
EXERCISE:Most red-blooded girls like me looove or at least at one time in life or another loved shoes, handbags, etc….until a certain point in life when we grow up, and “clothes” are no longer just “clothes”. They symbolize. Labels evolve from the annoying strip that tells us if our clothes are on backwards into articles of seemingly more significance like:
- whether a fabric feels great on my skin or flatters my body type,
- or the designer’s artistic vision accurately articulates my personalitaaay.But just as disease affects down to the cellular level- sometimes chemically altering our very make-up, making getting dressed in the morning look like patient history. That is, if we take the time to look at the ugly, diagnose it, and treat it.Unfortunately, we don’t- not usually. So, it should strike us when it starts to signify things like this:
- I love the way another a celebrity looks in these clothes (read: what’s wrong with the way I look?)
- or do what people think I have when they see me in this (read: look at me; people don’t see me anymore).
- I love the image it gives me (read: they value me because of what they think I own).
- It may be ugly to look at, but each “felt feeling” is valid and deserves all the same attention.